Nick and I have been married almost 2 years (July 31) but we dated for about 5 years before that. I know that’s not a lifetime or anything, but I feel like we’ve learned a lot along the way. I know not to try and have a conversation with him as soon as he wakes up and he knows that I get so stressed out when I don’t have correct directions when I’m driving and I tend to yell about it. I know that I should always keep the fridge stocked with milk and keep cereal in the pantry and he knows how to cook a steak EXACTLY how I like it ( a little pink in the middle but no blood AT ALL!) We learn more about each other every day and I hope that never stops!
A little background on our relationship – We grew up in the same town, the same middle school, the same high school. He was good friends with my next door neighbor, he “dated” one of my friends in 7th grade, but Nick and I were never even what one would consider friends. We knew of each other and that’s about it. Fast forward to the summer after I graduated college. Nick started coming to my church with his friend and playing softball with our church league team. I knew from the first time we talked that I really liked this guy and wanted to get to know him better. He had just gotten out of a long relationship so we started off just friends and hung out in groups, mostly church friends. One day though he asked me out to lunch and that’s how it all started – a bbq lunch at a hometown favorite restaurant and the rest is history!
All that being said, from the day I met Nick I learned about all of his hobbies. He is the most active person I know; hunting, fishing, boating, playing, and everything in between. Sometimes I join him, sometimes I don’t. I don’t always like to spend my weekends sporting camouflage head-to-toe and sitting in a tree – Crazy I know! I will go out with him every now and then because it is a good time to bond with my husband doing something he loves – his excitement can be contagious!
That being said, I would NEVER, EVER ask him to not hunt or fish for my sake. I have never been one to make him choose between me and his hobbies, I have always thought that if you feel like you need to change things about the person you’re with – they’re probably not the right person for you. When you start making that person feel guilty for doing the things that they love instead of spending every second with you – that’s when you start to lose them. There are times of the year (deer hunting season specifically) that I know I will see less of Nick on the weekends, I choose to look at those as opportunities to do the things that I love to do that he doesn’t – seeing chick flicks, spa days, read a good book, spend time with friends – not sit around moping because he’s gone. I don’t ever want to make him feel guilty for following his passions.
It has been said a million times that you can NOT change a person, and I don’t know why you would want to change someone you love. You fell in love with that person for who they are – and all the things that make them that way. Don’t try to change them…all it will do is make them resent you and make your relationship rocky at best.
